I can't give up yet
by QuadOfChaos
Summary: The war is over, many are dead, nearly everything has been destroyed, but the Seireitei can never rest. Even if the 10th Captain, Hitsugaya Toshiro is in a coma. Will he wake up? Will Seireitei survive? Will peace return? Can Matsumoto forgive herself? And why are things not quite right? Let's find out the hidden truth.


**The First Chapter: Tears**

Matsumoto sat at his bedside, it had been two weeks, but he hadn't been conscious for even a second. The fighting was all over. But even though his injuries were no longer life threatening, her captain was still in a coma. If she had been able to move a tiny fraction of a second earlier, he wouldn't have needed to shield her. She began crying again. It felt like that was all she could do anymore. She had so many regrets, she felt like they were crushing her. She kept thinking 'If I trained just a bit more, he'd be ok."' Or 'If a hadn't slacked off so much, my captain wouldn't be hurt like this.' Shunsui Kyoraku, the current 1st captain, knew of the situation, but rebuilding Soul Society took so much time and effort, he barely had time to use the restroom, let alone eat and sleep. But he decided a few seconds would be ok. He entered the room, with only enough time to say. "Did he ever tell you when you two met, the first thing he liked about you was your smile? He can make it, I've seen stronger captains die from less. Just don't be so hard on yourself, it'll just take time. And he'll be able to recover better if you smile, even though he's in a coma. Give yourself just a little slack. Before I go, he asked me to keep a secret, but I'll tell you, he said to me once, just after becoming the 10th captain, when he first saw you cry, once he was alone, he cried as well? The faster you forgive yourself, the faster he'll wake up" And before she could even react, he was already back to work almost two miles away. At that time, she steeled her resolve, and went back to work.

-Three Weeks Later-

Matsumoto was at his bedside, to say good morning before she continued with the rebuild. And she looked at his face, he was far more peaceful after she stopped crying. She looked at his face with a bittersweet smile, then lent over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. As she turned around, he groaned ever so slightly. She was frozen, as the 10th squad vice captain turned around, he groaned out in a very quite voice, barely audible even though she wasn't even two feet from him. "Are... you... O...kay... Ma... tsum... oto?" He was unconscious, and still injured, but his first words in over a month was about her health. For the first time since the Head captain talked to her she cried. But this time, they were tears of Joy.

-Two Days Later-

The youngest captain started to regain consciousness. His first conscious words were the exact same.

-Ten Days Later-

Hitsugaya was back in his own bed, even though walking was out of the question for now. He was talking with his vice-captain and she asked a question that she wanted to ask since the commanders visit.

"T-Taichou, did you really cry after you saw me crying when we knew our captain was never coming back?" His face turned bright red, nearly the same color of Abarai Renji's hair. "He told you?!" The cup of tea in his hand was now in a block of ice, and the room temperature dropped so low so fast she immediately had to hug her chest so certain things weren't visible after she jumped up. This also elicited a squeal of surprise, partially from the cold, partially from her, 'assets' becoming momentarily visible. Thankfully her captain didn't notice that part. "Sorry!" He himself was surprised by the ice, considering he didn't even feel his Reiatsu diminish at all. He quickly took control of the temperature, and apologized again. "I'm sorry! I didn't think I could even do that to this degree." His vice-captain spoke through chattering teeth. "B-b-b-b-ath-th-th-ro-oo-oo-om!" She ran out as fast as she could to warm up. The youngest of the captains now felt rather ashamed. In the past he has lowered room temperatures before, but never this quick, or cold without a significant amount of determination even with his Shikai, only ever Bankai.

Meanwhile, with Matsumoto.

"They got so cold they hurt!" She was still in discomfort from, well, the way her body reacted to such extreme cold. Matsumoto literally couldn't feel her feet. After about fifteen minutes, lots of hot water, and several blankets, she returned.

"I'm really sorry Matsumoto, I swear I'm not mad at you, that's never happened, not like this anyway." His head was hung slightly.

"It's ok Taichou, you've been out of it for a long time. I'm more concerned about you them my n-uh, I mean, uh, my, my runny nose!" They were now both blushing rather deeply. "Pretend I didn't just almost say that okay?" She asked. His somewhat ill-worded reply was, well, slightly insulting.

"I'd prefer not to even -think- about something like those." He realized what that tone made it sound like he was saying just a bit to late. "What do you mean by those?! Am I that unattractive to you?!" She shouted, nobody but them heard that, something they were both glad about. "I-I didn't mean it that way! I swear! I just worded that the wrong way! I'm sure they're lovely! Wait, no! I give up." They both looked away from each other embarrassed by their own words.

They sat for almost thirty minutes not talking. Until Hitsugaya spoke up. "Um, Matsumoto, could you leave for a few minutes, I need to use the restroom..." 'Why is today so damn awkward?' He wondered in his mind. "Uh, Taichou, can you even stand?" She couldn't help but wonder how he was managing such things. "I can hobble that far." His bathroom was only three meters from his bed. "I can help you walk there at least." "I'm okay, really." She nodded and left his room. He began the difficult journey of hobbling while using a cane. Once finished, he returned to his bed, and called out with his voice only slightly elevated. "Matsumoto?" She walked back in, and sat down next to him again. He sighed. "Listen, I don't know if I can stay your captain..." "What?!" She didn't let him finish. "Why not? Was it something I did?" She couldn't help but feel like it was her fault. "No, Matsumoto, it's because I can't do something anymore..." His tone was quite, and melancholy. She looked at him questioningly. He didn't look up, he merely said. "I can't walk, it's not going to get better, ever. Even that Inoue girl can't do anything..." Her eyes began to water...

END OF CHAPTER ONE! I apologize for how bad it sucks.


End file.
